I binge-watched this series on Netflix entitled Maid (2021) in the last two days. The story is about a woman named Alex who survives domestic abuse from his partner with her three years old child named Maddy. The story starts with Alex leaving her partner’s house with Maddy in the middle of the night. This 25-year-old single mother then takes a job as a maid, goes through government support and in the end, she reaches her individuality by getting enrolled in a university. During her job as a maid, she used to explore the peoples’ houses whilst cleaning. You know, you can say a lot about a person by looking at the details of the house. And, within her crazy struggles of unstable parents, drug-addicted partner, Maddy and moving from one place to another, she managed to write about her experience of those different houses she worked as a maid. These writings actually got her into the university for studying Creative Writing. When she shared her writings in her therapy group sessions, she was asked by the moderator Denise to hold an activity for other women in the therapy.
So she handed over small notebooks to each woman and told them to write for ten minutes about the happiest day of their life. She said that it doesn’t have to be what has already happened to you, it can be the happiest day which you dream of as well. Some talked about their first touch of their kids, some talked about their hanging out in the pubs and some wrote, but never shared. Alex also shared what will be the happiest day of her life. Well, I have given enough spoilers about Maid, so you have watch till the last episode to know about her happiest day of life.
This got me thinking about my happiest day of life. Ironically, when I was thinking about my happy days, it contrasted with the days I was really sad. But eventually, everything balances out, I guess. When Alex was telling about her happiest day, a visualisation came to mind in which I remember when was the day I was very happy. I remember those days when I was in my first couple of years in the university abroad; when I used to go back home, I would buy soft toys (teddy, unicorn, monkey etc) for each of my family members. I still do though! And, I would keep them in my hand luggage. So, when I would land and come out through the airport door, first I would be gifting those toys to my mother and father, who would be waiting outside to receive me and to see my first glance after months. For the first one or two years, it was beautiful. My parents would always come to receive me and I would jump out from the door hugging them and gifting those soft toys. Then two things happened. First, the pandemic did not allow people to go to public places much. Second, me travelling back and forth from one place to another became a regular thing. I still bring soft toys whenever I go home, but it’s just there to keep. They would welcome me, I would land, be with family and they would say goodbye, I would fly and be alone in my Castle of Silence.
Ironically, I never realised this whole story happened to me before. However, I was on the other side of the table. I was committed to a long-distance relationship at a very early age. He would then, fly back and forth once in six months or once in a year. He would come home, live for fifteen days or a month. Then, fly back to his Castle of Sharp Cold. When he first flew to do his studies abroad, we all went to the airport to say goodbye. I still remember I cried a lot holding my mum and his parents. That was probably the saddest day of my life. Then days after days, months after months, years after years, he would come back and forth. I think I cried every time he left for the first two years. Then gradually I was neither happy when he came back, nor sad when he left. It became pretty usual for me, just like today, by travelling back and forth is usual for my family.
At first, it’s always hard to accept and emotions flow. But, in the end, and eventually, everything balances out. Now, I have accepted both the happiest and saddest day of my life. And I am pretty sure, within the next five years these days of happy and sad will definitely change. Feelings are relative, but accepting these feelings are absolute.
Sharing an image of the view from my Castle of Silence:
Essays, Thoughts and Writings by Mohona Reza 